Ok, I’ve been struggling and by the way, who isn’t these days. I’ve sat down to write on several occasions and have come up with nothing. Oh, there are topics that I think are interesting that when I re-read appear shallow, vapid, and entitled. Who wants to hear the apparent struggles of a white, middle (ok, older) aged woman, well retired living beachside? See, doesn’t make sense. I’m thinking my thoughts would make better copy as no public journal entries.
I decided that it’s time to start the digital shutdown process. This site started to document my journeys, navigate the world while learning about the world and myself. It has been a great experience, showcasing the challenges and sheer happiness of exploring the world one country at time. Then life started to take over, all positive. I met someone extraordinary, and we continued to charter new territory together. I cut ties with corporate life and gradually started to fall off the map. I studied yoga. I practiced yoga. I even have a few classes online too. I learned how to meditate. I stopped wearing high heeled shoes and dying my hair. I felt free!
Then I got sick.
Initially I thought, it was because I slowed way down only to find that the leading culprit may have been decades of relentless deadline induced stress. Then my partner got sick, much sicker than me, chemo and surgery sick. And for the first time in my life: I was afraid. When the world shut down, we were in the throngs of hospital stays, doc visits and tests- lots of tests. The pandemic provided the perfect veil for confinement, sleep and healing. We both needed to physically heal. My stomach got better; he got more chemo.
Due to the lockdowns, we did get excellent healthcare support. People weren’t doing maintenance health checks; people were terrified about the virus. We were still permitted to get medical care and we did: oncologists, neurosurgeons, cardiologists, gastroenterologists, transplant specialists. Needless to say, our vocabularies have expanded. We embarked on a journey of another kind. This one didn’t warn of the pitfalls of what to order in a Portuguese café (I always go for sardines), it was grim. It was sad and it initially appeared quite final. Cancer isn’t on anyone’s bucket list!
It appears that we’re on a different type of journey now
We got good test results last week: No Residual Disease (NRD). NRD is what every blood cancer patient wants. Certain types of blood cancers are insidious; they ebb and flow yet never go away. NRD is how we know it’s ebbed. It’s never forever, but it is for now. And for that we celebrate. The wish is that the ebb can get us to the next level disease breakthrough. And that’s what we’re going to do. Live life, try to live it as fully and we can. Maybe there will be more interesting things to write about again.
When I’m 64…. Today is my official Beatles Birthday! I’m stealing that moniker directly from my friend, Pam who used it to lighten her husband’s big day earlier this year. It’s #64 and for those uninitiated, the Beatles had a novelty song on their Sargent Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band LP called “When I’m 64”. Originally produced in 1967, this breezy tune ruminates.. “will you still need me, will you still need me.. when I’m 64?”… And it is worth celebrating.
What I have come to discover, you are kind of the same person on the inside that you were when you were 16. I was more of a light rebel, bohemian and now… even after years of corporate torture, parenthood, and responsibility; I’m still left leaning, yoga practicing and quasi-creative. It’s been an adventure and I am extraordinarily grateful to be in this place: physically, mentally and spiritually. Getting older is full of perks and vastly underrepresented in today’s society.
First age is a privilege, there are many of my contemporaries that have not made it this far. Every day I wake up, I start with being grateful. It is a purposeful exercise, I do list 10 things that bring me happiness, joy. Some days explode with goodness and freshness, while others are stretched to: I am grateful for clean clothes and a roof over my head. Nonetheless, I have found that addressing what I have in life, rather than what is missing from it has created enormous space for growth and exploration. Psst—try it, it works.
We called it Strudelfest
As I was reflecting on this semi-milestone (because all birthdays are milestones!), it became evident what a crazy year this has been. I am one of the privileged. I do have retirement income & healthcare. I am loved and I am incredibly happy. I have autonomy, pretty much make my own decisions, and have the means to change course if necessary. I used to travel the world with great gusto. It was one of the biggest perks to not working. You have control of your time. I chose to travel and did. The last year I took a month-long European trip with my daughter, Devin that we dubbed “Strudelfest”. The objective was to explore Dutch, French, German, Swiss and Austria pastries, learn about them, maybe bake them and of course, consume them! The real treasure from our trip was the time spent together. Devin is no longer a child and I saw her expand her knowledge, gain expertise and navigate the world. Not too many parents get to witness their child’s transition to adulthood and enjoy their time together now as peers. Peers with a special relationship, oh and all while attempting to speak German. Yes, we were challenged and that was part of the fun too.
Southern Hemisphere Adventures
After that and to launch the calendar new year, I spent another month touring New Zealand and French Polynesia with my partner, Charlie. He finished a 6-month Antarctica deployment and I met him in Christchurch, NZ. He is a scientist and was studying climate, forecasting weather and essentially achieving a lifelong dream of studying this continent. He is one of the good guys, studying climate. Yes, climate change is a real thing. We spent our New Zealand time, hiking, surfing and dining on green-lipped mussels (best in the world). Tahiti was perfection. I had never been and never thought I’d get to go. This was a true Polynesian holiday, complete with fruity drinks, native dancers and the punctuated by an over the lagoon bungalow. Yes, the sunsets are as remarkable as you would think. But even more impressive, were the star scapes. I have never in my life seen stars that intense and radiant. The Southern Cross is majestic. I think time stopped for us there. It was perfection and this was March 10.
Do you have nuts?
Coming back to the US after NZ and Tahiti was surreal. Those countries were starting to experience the virus and had temperature checks at the airports and were following passengers activities post-flight. They took this unknown virus quite seriously. When returning to the US, it was different. There were no questions about the virus, only about if we brought nuts back from Tahiti (evidently it’s a problem). We were back for 2 days and everything started to shut down. It was suddenly that serious. And here’s where we’ve been.
Let’s renovate a house… or a condo
Now, quarantine can be daunting. We had moved to our new home in August, 2019 right after my last birthday. I started this year off renovating a condo while Charlie was shipped out to Antarctica. Kitchen, two bathrooms, laundry room and all the lighting, window treatments and re-painted. Pretty much the whole place with the exception of the flooring. It was a growth experience. I used to start every day out with gratitude, then… please God, let the contractors show up today and maybe do some work too? We had a hurricane in the middle of all of it that was the cause for the Bahamian tile guys to not work. I do know, it could have been worse. Ah, but it could have been so much better. It did finish on October 22, only a full month over schedule and we won’t discuss how much over budget. The nice part is when Charlie got home, it was his first time in his new and newly renovated home. It was a nice treat and there were no house projects.
We’re in Quarantine Mode
We were settling in. And that’s what we’ve done. He surfs, I read & do yoga. He writes, I write. We eat dinner, take beach walks and watch America implode on TV from our living room. We are the privileged. I have learned much about what is not working in America from the “Great Pause”, including how many of our children do not get enough to eat, parents are overwrought with forced home schooling, the unemployment system has not kept up with how Americans work, the unemployment systems are vastly underfunded, people have no savings, there is not a real safety net in America, racism is still prevalent, our healthcare system is a disaster and dumbassery is widespread. With the exception of dumbassery, there is the opportunity to overhaul our social infrastructure. I know people want to work, we have to find how they can. It might mean that our entire work paradigm may have to change, drastic times require drastic measures. And we need to be kind to each other. This time we are all going through the sh$t show. We need to listen and make sure that everyone is heard. Respect, compassion and love.
I am closing my year not the same as I started, yet am grateful to have perspective and platform to discover what the next iteration will be. Not solely for me, but for all of us. We are living in incredible times. I invite you to make a wish for the year too. We can blown the candle out together, virtually of course.
I’m learning to walk again! Thank you, Dave Grohl..
Tomorrow I’ll be coming to the end of another path around the sun. As with most women of a certain age, I have a love-hate relationship with my birthday; somehow this one is just a little special. Last year was a significant milestone. I spent it as a newly laid off corporate casualty and owning a fabulous Eames Lounge Chair that I had custom made for the big occasion (note: I bought this chair before I learned of my pending unemployment. It was non-refundable). Sucks to be me. It was a bittersweet day culminated in a huge slice of Bahama Breeze’s fresh Key Lime Pie and a spectacular sunset over the Tampa Bay causeway. Acutally… it doesn’t suck to be me.. Happy Birthday, girl…
This year I’m so far removed from Florida, my bodacious chair and corporate America, celebrating with my beautiful daughter while I continue my nomad journey in Prague. You see, this year has been one of those amazing transition years that initially appeared to be a calamitous chute, when in fact it was a golden ladder in disguise… And how does Dave Grohl play into this?
I love this song.. Walk.. Foo Fighters.. seems to be perfectly anthemic and necessary to for anyone that is trying to get their footing again or maybe find it in the first place. It’s about discovery, courage and chutzpah. (I invite you to add it to your “SJGR” Playlist). I play this song non-stop. It motivates me. It inspires me. It makes me want to get up when I think I can’t anymore. This year, I have been determined not to have me or my life defined by negativity, past events or people. I wanted this chapter of my life to start from a position of strength, not dread. Perhaps I have gone to extraordinary lengths to clean out the bad juju, yet it seems to be my perfect remedy. Learning to Walk again..
My new nomad life has stretched my creativity, knocked down my reservations and paved the way to a whole new sense of discovery. I’ve found it enlightening to be physically out of my normal environment, forced to navigate a new city, currency, language, measurement system (and btw- just why isn’t the US using the metric system?), transit system and literally maintain balance on cobblestone sidewalks. You need to think, not react. It can be daunting and unforgiving. There is also a huge sense of accomplishment when you can solo a subway, make change quickly and do currency conversions unassisted (thank you, Google.. I’ve got this one). It’s like I’m playing the “Amazing Race” against myself and some days you win, some days.. well, not so much, but still learning to walk again… You can’t run, if you can’t walk.
This year has taught me that I am still continually learning. I’m learning to have patience with myself. I’m learning to be less busy and more mindful. I’m learning to be attuned to my environment. I’m learning to love me for who I am now. Quite a bit for one year, don’t you think?
It’s my birthday. I’m walking upright and starting a whole new lap around the sun. I can’t wait to see what is in store.
Let me tell you that when you take yourself out of your regular environment and are thrown into a completely different locale, stuff starts to happen.. It’s called change. If you leave yourself open to the possibilities, you can find magic in the mundane.
Somewhere around week 3, you start to realize that almost everything you do is different than you do in your home environment. When you vacation, it’s fun.. it’s part of the cool part of going somewhere new. When you start to call someplace a temporary home, there’s all sorts of things you start to need or want to make your life comfortable. For me.. it was time to get a manicure. Well, this became an immediate emergency and obsession on so many levels. I thought the sky was falling ! Where the hell am I going to get my nails done in Belgrade? (As if the rotation of the earth depended on my nails!) In the US, we are accustomed to a wide variety of inexpensive, fast nail options. It’s as if thereis a requirement that at least one nail salon be in any strip mall. I discovered (my extensive research is thanks to Google) that there were 7 standalone nail salons, a 3 day spas offering nail services in a 5 mile radius of my home. It’s no secret that most of the standalone nail salons are foreign owned and operated. It’s part of our community fabric and the entry point to the economy. Your interaction with them is easy: you show up, they do your nails, you pay them, the next person gets in the chair. In masterful supply chain execution, regardless of how many people are in the salon; there always seems to be someone who can service your need immediately. This makes it almost a fast food commodity… McChair 2 is waiting and supersize me.
Here in Belgrade, the nail salon is considered a value added service. You have to find someone, who knows someone to get you access to the most skilled technician. There is not a nail salon on every corner. Cleverly, I asked my new Pilates friends who does the best nails. They all gave me the same answer ending with… it may take some time to get an appointment. I immediately got on Googleto search for them, eureka!.. a Facebook page.. The digital hunt starts: Liking their page, then requesting via messenger for an appointment.. Starting off..’ my apologies, I do not speak Serbian’… then getting a cryptic reply.. two new vacancies, you must reply immediately. Not knowing if it was a regular direct Serbian response or the person’s English; I responded not quite immediately. My response was too late! These people are relentless. This is serious. Game on.I then asked for the next available, it was 3 days out. This may not seem like much, but remember… I’m used to having 10 options at my chipped nail fingertips. I took the appointment, got Maps to take me within steps of the well-hidden secret entrance (seems to be a prevailing theme in Serbia… how can we disguise the entrance game..?) I rang the security bell, and was promptly greeted by a well-groomed woman wearing a white medical coat embroidered with the salon logo. I was in the inner sanctum! She seated me, gave me beverage (a nice chilled beverage, might I add) and got the process going. My appointment was at 2:30 and I was in the chair at 2:29. My technician got her tools and space prepped and laid out 20 color wheels, each with 19 different hues for me to select. This must be color heaven! We decided that my summer emergency demands a bright color and a punched up hue of magenta was selected. She commented on the quality of my prior manicure and wanted to know if it was ‘executed’ locally… Made me smile. It was ‘executed’ all right. Remember I said I was in full-on nail emergency, I was looking all chipped and snaggle-nailed. I needed an expert.
The process of polish removing, cuticle shaping and nail filing is boring.. but she had a rhythm to her work that kept me engaged with the process and even liking being there. Her polish application was extraordinary precise. It was also kind of funny, but the background suspended TV had a US episode of “Big RV’s”; focused on Americans buying RV’s for family vacations. Hearing it dubbed in Serbian was telling in a bad way like looking in to us from the outside (and it wasn’t pretty)… My whole nail extravaganza lasted an hour and half and there was chilled Serbian wine!
This was not a trivial outing. It was an experience, a nice experience. The atmosphere in the salon was communal, these people liked each other. They liked working together and they enjoyed their customers. I wasn’t just sitting in McChair 2. All of this for $15.. Did I mention the chilled Serbian wine too? While there, I got the follow-on manicure appointment, booked a pedicure and got myself in queue for a facial. I might end up spending a day there in the hidden retreat behind the buzzer door.
I do declare: this is the best manicure I have every had! I’m giddy over it. It makes me happy. It’s another instance of finding magic in the ordinary, Belgrade style. This is city of contrast, grit and artistry at every turn.. even in the nail salon. I am smitten.
End Note:
The New York Times did an interesting expose the state of US Nail Salons. It’s a good read. Makes you look at supply-demand and fair wages in a whole different light.
Sometimes the world just calls. This summer I have decided to fully explore a variety of cultures on the Remote Year program. My adventure will take in four European cities. Each will allow me to live in an local apartment and work from a communal workspace; proving that the virtual connection technology allows us to transcend borders and continue to do good work.
First stop this summer is Belgrade, Serbia. Belgrade is a city on the ascent. It is compact with an unique personality and energy to it. I arrived on Saturday night, greeted promptly by a Remote Year driver and taken directly to my accommodations. The apartment landlady was waiting, complete with house tour, directions and keys. I could exhale, unpack and go to sleep… This was painless!
My apartment is a third-floor walkup (there is an elevator, but the stairs are quicker), it’s an older building with white washed plastered walls, high ceilings, herringbone parquet flooring, spacious bath, modern kitchen and a balcony facing the street. In one direction, the apartment is located a block away from the Republic Plaza (Government seat) and adjacent Pedestrian Street (think super outdoor mall with outdoor cafes and musicians. It is very cool). In the other direction, it is next to the biggest city park and St. Marc’s cathedral. There are two workspaces in Belgrade. Both provide all the amenities necessary to do good work: fast WiFi, tech support, telephone booth, open work space, full kitchens. It’s fun to get up and walk to work. It’s about 5 blocks from apartment to work space (15 minutes total walking time says FitBit).. chance to get a good cup of coffee, pastry (oh, this town knows pastry!) and enjoy your commute. When was the last time you either commuted (I haven’t since 2001!) or enjoyed your journey from home to work? Hummm..be honest…
I know for certain that I enjoyed my commute today. It felt good.
RSVP– I invite you to join me for this summer with Remote Year. My intention is to explore each city, see the sites, engage in the culture, learn some language, discover food & drink, do Pilates and have fun while doing some great work! Let’s have a good summer together!
